SETTING BOUNDARIES

As you gain experience with the Votta Exercise and see it start to produce positive results in your own life and career, you may wish to share it with others, whether it be family, friends, or members of your team.

Another issue that often comes up is the issue of boundaries and limits. The way I recommend establishing boundaries is that you don’t find your limits, you create them. I’ve had clients in the past who have been hospitalized due to overworking themselves. That limit was created for them. We want you to create a boundary before it is made for you, and based on what is important to you.

For instance, I have a goal of making sure my family feels loved and needed. Setting boundaries for me looks something like this: I just coached seven people on Tuesday. I know I can’t do that again. I wasn’t able to sleep. I had too much to do. I didn’t spend any time with my family. I just can’t do that. That’s different from thinking, I’m choosing not to do that again, because though I can do it, it’s not what works right now. Again, I used my goals and views as a check and balance to see if my life is aligned with what really matters.

I choose to spend quality time with my family, and coaching seven clients in one day prevents me from meeting that goal. When I think of it this way, it allows me to be proud of the result. Having seven clients in one day is something to be proud of, too, but the two can’t occur at the same time. Sure, I could choose to stay up late at night. But if wellbeing matters to you, it’s not effective to stay up late. We choose our goals, prioritize them, and then set limitations based on what is most important to us. There are times when we have to get out of our own heads and have someone from the outside offer their perspective. This is where coaching can make a huge difference.
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​Learn more about helping others through The Votta Exercise in my book "Controlling the Pause"!